I Knew The Ending Before It Began

He’s so fine. Tall enough to rock my world, has a smile that makes me tingle, and he’s ambitious too. He had me checking off most of my list, and it felt good too (for the first few months) until I found out he was “kind of involved”.

Here we go again!

He made me feel like I was so special, like I was the only girl to make him feel the way he did. He composed the sweetest words for me, words that lingered late at night before falling asleep, words that greeted me in the morning before I rolled out of bed. It was his intelligence that attracted me the most, I just wanted to hear what he had to say all day long. When I found out there was someone else in the picture it shocked me a little, but he assured me “you have nothing to worry about” he would say “I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re so different.” I chose to believe him, I had no reason not to, he was honest enough to let me know there was someone else in the picture, so why would he start lying now.

Yeah right. I knew it would have been too good to be true. Thanks to my favorite stalking tool Facebook, it bated him out, although he was completely unaware that I was fully aware (but I knew I was fully aware). I saw pictures of them together, posts on his wall from her telling him how much she loves him, how much she adores, all the things I was hoping to say one day.

I thought about confronting him about it, but friends would say “he’s not your man” and it’s true, I had no say in his love life, I can’t be upset at him for being young, sexy and attractive. I had a feeling that what was between him and this other girl was about to get serious. Not long after I analyzed the situation I stopped hearing from him. I knew at that point it wasn’t me he wanted, and it hurt.

Here’s the thing. Even before he told me he was involved I knew he was involved. By the little things he would do and say like, “text me, don’t call me, text” or if we were talking on msn and he would sign off in the middle of a deep conversation. There was always something off about his attitude, and I should have run in the other direction when I saw that red flag. There was something stopping me from walking away from the situation, something that had a hold on me. A false hope, thinking I would win his heart in the end. Maybe it was his words, and his actions towards me, I wanted to believe so badly in my heart that he was different. He’s not different. They never are.

Lesson learned . . . ?

~ by doyouboo on June 25, 2010.

2 Responses to “I Knew The Ending Before It Began”

  1. why oh why do we do this to ourselves? we are beautiful. we are bright. we are loving human beings that deserve to be loved. but for some reason we just don’t love ourselves enough to get out when we’re faced with red flag after red flag. why is it so easy to get lost in the smoke and mirrors some guys put forth? i’m sad you weren’t the one to pull out of this particular “relationshit” but i’m hopeful it’ll hit you one day that you are worth more.

    • I appreciate the comment, thanks for taking the time to read. I totally a agree with you, us ladies we’re worth a lot more than we sometimes realize. Unfortunately we allow ourselves to get involved in demeaning situations like myself. To date I’ve completely cut this guy off, I wasn’t down for a “relationshit” with a cheating jerk.

      Thanks again for the comment.

      Keep doing you boo!!!

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