My Red Flag Moment

Well I couldn’t just sister bash and not discuss my OWN red flag moments….

Hmmm…I don’t know I’ve had many.

Gosh this one is a SAGA in relation to SPPM, you’ll hear that name A LOT on this blog. Anyways…we are both musicians over the years of knowing each other and playing together we got to know each other pretty well. Blah. Blah. Blah. Well, in the early days when we were forming a band with this other guy, he was usually late, i’m not really sure why, but MOST times there was a LAME-ASS excuse like,…oh “my car broke down.” C’mon son, that’s as classic as saying “the dog ate my homework.” He’s a terrible liar.

He was also hitting on me at this time and trying to get a little closer to K-Mama. I was REALLY turned off I thought to myself, DUDE, you’re 40 years old and STILL telling these lame white lies; get ahold of yourself; be a MAN and own up to your actions. I mean I could understand if you were 20-something, it would be excusable because you might not know better, but at your age, you should really know better.

I know that wasn’t a big deal; we all tell a million white lies in a day. But years later we were dating; quite heavily I might add. (LOL, what does that mean?) Over the years I continued to see that behaviour and ignored it; thought that I was being to “judgemental” and “strict”. Then towards the end, that thing of his of the “white lies” and the masking of the truth, became something in him that i could no longer stand, and that really hurt me. Look it’s not a big deal, but, all the while I thought things were going fine (sort of), but he sort of kept saying it was “fine” but my sixth sense was telling me, that things with him were not fine. But this time around he was pretty convincing you know? 

The lies weren’t just with words anymore, he would rub my hand and hold my waist, and smile and say, SURE! we’ll do dinner next week. Meanwhile deep down I knew we weren’t going to have dinner next week. But the girly girl part of me so desperately wanted to believe him, because actions don’t lie do they?

I knew he was like this from the start, but I proceeded when I saw the red flags, flag after flag. I had many moments to myself when i said…DO NOT DATE HIM!…and yet here i am. I’m still attached to him, I ain’t gonna lie, about 1/8 of me really wants him back, but the other 7/8ths knows that I really couldn’t be with a dude who was constantly dishonest with me about his feelings; that’s how marriages fall apart no? You think it’s all gravy, until he’s run off with his tennis instructor. LOL…but let’s be serious…who would leave this body?!? LOL!

It’s a fine line, no? No-one is PERFECT, so i feel bad when I’m constantly finding fault, it seems like i’m looking for mr. perfect. but then again how man red flags, go up until you decide to put up the white one?

Watch out for them red flags. Date Responsibly y’all. and.

do. you. boo (s)


~ by doyouboo on July 7, 2010.

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