Learning to Let Go

I don’t have too much to say about this one. But the older I get the more I realize that it’s true. Everything is transitory. There is a peace that comes with that; and also a slight sadness.
A few days ago I heard back from a friend I’d had for almost 10 years. For the past few years she had made no effort to keep the friendship alive despite my best efforts and so…finally after much talking with friends and soul searching I decided to let it go; cut ties and move on….(and delete her off facebook. hey not my best move, but in truth, it was painful seeing her news and status updates popping up all the time know that we were no longer friends and knowing that in her inbox there were a few messages that she had not bothered to reply to or read at all). So she added me again on facebook, with a note asking me to forgive her for having ignored me all this time. I won’t lie a small feeling of smugness came over me like…yeah…gyal, about damn time; and then i wondered whether or not to have her back in my life.

I’m opting for open arms. but knowing that my arms may remain empty sooner than later; and knowing again that she may fall in and out of these arms many times. I’m getting used to that idea.
But sometimes in life it just feels so sad when you realize that everything really does “die”, old lovers move on, seasons change friends change opinions change. you can’t hold onto anything. I think when I can find the joy in this maybe then I will have finally gotten the point.

Speaking of old lovers, one has been creepy crawling in my mind for quite some time, i know that he wants to get back together but deep down, i’m pretty sure that he will not be able to make me happy, yet still i yearn for him and long to have him as MINE! It’s strange when I let go of these people there they sit on my doorstep; and I realize that there is no security in their return; I’m pretty sure they’ll be gone again, and I’ll let them go, only for them to come back…

~ by doyouboo on August 27, 2010.

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